Just A Loud Smile.

I love laughing. Luckily, I found someone that makes me laugh every single day and decided to marry him. I haven't written in a while and I was wanting to post about something a little more deep, but today I just need to focus on the hilariousness of my life. Chris and I laugh all the time.

We joke that we are the real life Doug and Carrie from "King of Queens." We get ourselves in the most awkward situations and honestly, all we can do is laugh. One story that still cracks me up is when we went to my friend's funeral a couple of years ago (I know, it gets funny. I promise.) It was held in a funeral home where the rooms are separated by those hard curtains that you can slide back and forth to make the room larger or smaller if needed. The curtain was pulled to make 2 smaller rooms and we were a little confused, so we decided to go in the room with the coffin (when all else fails, head to the room with the person of honor, right?) So we walk in and someone comes in behind us and shuts the door, leaving us in this small room with maybe 10 other people all standing together. Where are the chairs? Is this really all that is going to show up? Then the man who walked in behind us tells us all to gather together and hold hands.

Wait. What?

You guessed it. We were in the family prayer room. With the coffin. Parents. Siblings. Us. Everyone was giving us the side-eye, but what were we supposed to do? Just walk out? We tried to compose ourselves and grabbed some hands. We prayed, and when we were done we tried to make our escape.

Nope.

We were escorted in to the real room where the funeral was held with the rest of the family to the sound of the organ playing in the background. Yes, in front of everyone. I probably only knew two people in that entire room. I still wonder what in the world everyone was thinking as the line of family walked in and there were these two random people with them. Nobody ever said anything to us...

Now, my friend who passed away had the best sense of humor ever and I know if she was watching, she was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. That is why I'm comfortable joking about it now, she wouldn't have let a situation like that just go to waste. I have never felt so uncomfortable in my entire life, but c'mon, that is pretty dang funny. It was an honest and horribly awkward mistake. Can't you see Doug and Carrie doing that?! 

I also laugh when I remember Chris and his random one-man flash mob in the middle of our living room to the song "My First Kiss", cracking up when we grabbed our plates at a Chinese buffet and saw the giant bowl of cheese puffs next to the crab legs (classy), when I looked back at him as we were taking the long hike to our car after the U2 concert and realized he was hobbling with a "walking stick" because he had a tiny blister on his toe, or the time I started loading groceries into a car that looked just like mine, until I set the alarm off and had to load them back in my cart and walk across the parking lot to my car with that stupid alarm blaring in the background (talk about walk of shame)...I could go on all day.

Long story (kind of) short, every single day there is something new to laugh about. We laugh at ourselves, we laugh at each other, and we laugh together. My life could be a sitcom, especially now that "King of Queens" is no longer filming. Let's see...what should I call it?

I wouldn't put it past him.

Birthdays: God's Way Of Telling Us To Eat More Cake.

I love birthdays. Ask anyone that knows me. It isn't just my birthday, I love all birthdays. I can think of so many times that I have found out it was a person's birthday and all of a sudden it doesn't matter if the other 364 days a year we don't get along or if it is my best friend in the world- I want to make their day wonderful. I get all emotional and think about how happy their mom and dad were on that day when they were born...I imagine them as a brand new baby...then I get thinking about all of their birthday parties when they were little...the cakes...the party hats...the screaming little kids...Gah. I love it.

I even get excited thinking about my dog's birthdays. Sheesh, this is an embarrassing post! I had a birthday party for Paisley when she turned one. I went all out...birthday cake, treat bags, presents, the whole shabang. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but I have been this way since I was a little kid. I can't help it.

Did I mention I love birthdays?!

Today I am officially half way to fifty. My mom made me "Thanksgiving" and red velvet cupcakes for my birthday dinner yesterday (we celebrated early so Chris can take me out tonight.) It was amazing, as always. It was great to just spend time with my family, relax, laugh, and gear up for this next year of life.

Bring it on, 25!



Life Is Yours To Miss.

I just woke up from the most horrible dream. Chris was driving home and I was in the passenger seat. For some reason, we decided we needed to turn around and he tried to pull a u-turn on the busy highway by our house. He didn't quite make it, and the car slid off a cliff. Now, most people would wake up at this point, gasping for air and calming down after realizing they were home safe in their bed. Not me. My dream kept going. Our car flew through the air, smashing into rocks, rolling down the mountainside. Branches were busting through the windows and slicing up our arms and legs. I can still feel the nausea from being lifted up and down with every turn- gravity getting the best of me with only my seat belt to keep me in place. I looked down through my tears and realized our car was about to land upside down in a huge lake. Nobody would be able to see us from the highway. I looked over at Chris and he was staring at me. I said "I love you so much." and he said it back...then we hit the water.

I feel weird saying this, but instead of waking up from this dream upset, I feel encouraged. I died last night. The love of my life died too. Then I woke up and we were both alive, together in our bedroom. Sort of like a second chance. I have always been a firm believer in forgiveness. I refuse to hold grudges because life is so fragile. I will ask myself multiple times a week "If that person died in an hour, would I be okay with how our last conversation ended?" I'm not saying I don't have disagreements with people. I'm just saying I consciously force myself to love beyond the disagreements.

However, I have a lot of room to improve. I woke up thinking of the movie "PS, I Love You." If you haven't seen it, watch it. There is one part that no matter how many times I watch the dang show, I burst into tears. Holly wakes up in bed alone after Gerry has died. She is still groggy, and starts telling him that it is his turn to shut off the light. Then she realizes he isn't there. She hears music coming from the living room and gets out of bed with a huge smile on her face. She walks out and her Gerry is sitting there, singing and playing the guitar. She walks up behind him, wraps her arms around his shoulders, and tells him that she can't fall asleep alone. He says "I'm right here." Then she tells him she had a terrible dream and he says not to tell him about it. Ugh...it is getting me choked up just writing about it. (If you haven't seen it, click here.)

Confession time. Before Chris took me to see that movie in 2007, I would literally get jealous of his guitar. He spent so much time playing it and I felt like it was taking away from time he could be spending with me. I vividly remember sitting in the theater and realizing that if he was gone, I would kill to be able to hear him play again. It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. How could I be so selfish? How many moments had I wasted that should have been such precious memories? We walked out to his car that night, and I told him I would never tell him to put down his guitar again. Now, listening to him play makes me so happy, I feel like my heart could explode.

So where am I going with this? Holly woke up from her dream, and her husband was still dead. I woke up from my dream, and my husband was in bed with me. I don't want to waste what time I have with the people I love by dwelling in things that can't be changed about my life. It is too short. I want to capture as many memories as I can with everybody I love so that if one day I realize that their tomorrow isn't coming, I will have no regrets.

That being said, if my tomorrow doesn't come, I don't want people thinking "Oh, how tragic. The end of her life was so sad." I will continue to be honest because pain is real and it is valid, but for myself I need to focus on the joy of today. I'm surrounded by so much beauty and miracles are happening all around me. It is time to bask in that for a while.

I'll love him 'til the end...

Verbal Sunshine.

It is the one and only word that I actually remember the first time I heard it. I was in second grade and my teacher, Mrs. Yei, wrote it on our chalk board in giant letters...

COMPLIMENT

Why does that stick out in my mind? I have no idea. I just know I have no recollection at all of learning any other word I know. I was so excited when I got home from school that day. I explained to my family that you could tell somebody something that will make them feel proud to be who they are and that was called a compliment. I specifically remember explaining (in all of my 7 year old glory) that it was a very nice thing to do and everyone needed to start giving more compliments. It was like a light bulb went off and I had no idea why people were not doing this every single time they talked to someone.

Tonight, I'm allowing my blog to be inspired by my second grade self. It is time to send out some random compliments (in no particular order.) I decided I will do this regularly, so if you don't make this list, please check back! I have to save some people for later, you know. 

• Chris: You are honestly the most hilarious person I've ever met. You have the ability to make me laugh no matter what kind of mood I'm in and that is not an easy thing to do. Also, you're pretty easy on the eyes. You are my perfect match and I don't think I'll ever stop wondering what I did to deserve you.
• Mama: You are so amazingly strong. You have been through more than any mother should ever have to deal with, and you have handled it all with such grace. You have also accomplished so much over the last 2 years despite it all. I don't know how you do it!
• Brittni G.: You're my homie! I think you are such a great mom to Cooper and I love watching you interact with him. He is amazing and I love being able to watch him grow up. You are also such an awesome friend to me and you're always there when I need you. BFF! Yep, I just said BFF. Haha!
• Victoria B-S.: Watching you evolve over the last 5 years has been incredible. You are so gorgeous, courageous, and fun. I love talking with you and re-living my teenage years through your stories. I can't wait to see what's to come.
• Peggy C.: You fit in so perfect with our family. I know I have told you before, but I'll say it again: I'm so happy my dad found you! You are so wonderful in every way. You are strong-willed and I admire how you fight for what you believe in.
• Jentry L.: You are one of a few dear friends that I know I will have for life. You have a way of "chilling me out" that a lot of people don't have. You are one of the best dressers I have ever met and I know that whenever you are around, it will be a good time!
• Alissa D.: You know I think you are one of the strongest women ever and I am eternally thankful for the love and compassion you show my brother. I love how from the beginning you were comfortable spending time with all of us and you took us as a package deal. 
• Coco T.: I know you hear all the time how beautiful you are, but I want you to know that you are just as gorgeous on the inside. You have such a fun and sweet personality and I really wish we lived closer to each other so we could spend more time together.
• Yvonne F.: Talk about making me smile! My mom and I have discussed for years the ability you have to light up a room. Your love and passion for God and for people just radiates from you. You are incredible.

I decided I will try to do this at least once a month. Keep an eye out, I want to make you smile next. I left some very important people out on purpose so I will have something to write about then. I love you all.

Some Persue Happiness-Others Create It.

God. My husband. My family. Laying in bed with the window open in the middle of a thunder storm. Freshly painted nails. Looking at diamonds. Frozen hot chocolate. Imagining my future children. Playing with my pug. Leaving the dentist with clean teeth knowing I don't have to go back for 6 more months. Finding a great pair of jeans. Clean sheets. Not having to do the dishes. When Chris likes the food I cook. Glee. Cadbury mini chocolate eggs. Having someone else wash my hair. Looking at the stars. Hiking by myself. Crawling in bed without setting an alarm. Babies. Mountain Dew. Running. Smashbox makeup. Minty chapstick. Green grass against a bright blue sky with puffy white clouds. Summer night walks with my husband and our dog. Feeling appreciated. Getting my cleaning done for the week. Getting a pedicure with my mom. Getting the monthly bills in the mail. Saving worms from the roadway after a heavy rain. Watching videos of parrots talking and singing. Red velvet cake. Flip flops. Hanging out at my dad's house. Walking around the mall holding hands with Chris. Singing in my car. Singing in the shower. Singing. Painting. Having dinner with my in-laws. Quiet evenings at home with nowhere to go. Movie theater popcorn. Sunsets. Sunrises. Weddings. Finding a book I can't put down. The smell of a new puppy. Saving money. When Chris is still in bed when I get home from work in the morning. Writing. Knowing I've made a difference, even if it is to just one person. Snuggling with a new baby. Feeling accomplished. Compliments. Listening to birds chirping on drive home to wake everyone else up as I'm getting ready for bed. The way my pug responds to the word "dinner." My amazing friends. Arby's chicken salad sandwiches. Spending time with  my brothers. Laughing so hard with Chris that we both cry. Reading encouraging blogs. Perfume. Being a "regular" at different places. Loving and being loved in return. Roses. Being surprised by Chris. My journal of sweet text messages sent to me over the last 5 years. Llamas.

This is my sloppy, unedited, unorganized list of things that make me smile. Add "Typing this list" to the bottom of my list. Also, I decided my blog needed a little brightening up.

     
Have a beautiful and inspired day.

A Day Full Of Happy.

Yesterday was such a wonderful day! It was not that anything really significant happened. I even started my day in a long training. I don't know, I just felt good. Chris was happy too. God gave us little bits of good news here and there, pretty rain through the warm sunshine, and a relaxing dinner with friends. We spent the rest of the evening at home with our pup, picking on each other and laughing our butts off.

Nothing better.

My Last First Kiss.

Today is Chris' and my second wedding anniversary. It is only 2:50 in the morning, and I already can't stop smiling. We have been through more in the last two years than a lot of couples go through in an entire lifetime together and there is still honestly no other person I would rather go home to. We love with a love that is more than love, and we do it daily. Hourly. Secondly.

What I would like to know is how I found the one person on this planet that will sit and smile as I watch hours of videos of parrots talking and singing online. That will pretend to laugh along with me when I start laughing so hard at the parrots that I cry, so I don't feel dumb. That works so hard and is incredible at his job, yet is always striving to be better for our family. That will get out of bed in his pajamas when I get home from work in the morning and go downstairs to get me Tylenol and a Mountain Dew even though I'm wide awake and he should still be sleeping when I realize I forgot to grab it before coming upstairs. That will let me get up in the middle of the night and leave the room in a huff over something stupid, then hug me in his sleep when I come back to bed no matter how upset he was before. That will tell me how beautiful I am through weight-loss or gain, dark hair or light, sweatpants or a wedding dress, and mean it. That listens (half asleep) to the annoying ideas and stories I come home with in the morning after a long night of work. That doesn't seem to mind that most of the time I'm home, I'm singing...loud. That makes me hold his hand in public even when I pretend I don't want to because he knows I really do. That still gives me butterflies in my stomach, even after five years. That loves me with the most honest, deep, true, and unconditional love I have ever felt.

My Love, I can't wait to annoy you for the rest of my life. Happy Anniversary! XOXO

P.S. He also is amazing because he says nice things like this. Again, I'm blessed.

Okay, God. I Hear You.

So, long story short, my darling husband was making me a little crazy earlier. We're married, it happens. So I got out of bed (which is my go-to move when I'm upset) and started surfing around. What else would I stumble on than this incredible blog? Read through it, hear his story, I dare you. Talk about putting things into perspective.

It is too easy to be awful to those closest to you, especially when there is deep hurt involved (no matter where that hurt came from.) I'm headed back to bed now.

We Love With A Love That Is More Than Love.

How blessed am I to have a man that God created specifically to hold me and comfort me and love me at this time in my life? Nobody could have done it better...I pray that I can give him all he needs in return.

Chris, I will thank God for you until I die...then I will thank Him again in person. I love you with a love that is more than love.