Saturday, May 17, 2014

Hi. Again.

Hello, there! I figured it was a good time for an update. We moved Nolan to a toddler bed a couple of weeks ago and he's rocking it. His first night was rough. He totally didn't get it. He screamed and screamed and screamed. The second night, he only cried a little bit. The third night, I asked him if he wanted to go to bed and he ran right into his room laughing. He loves it! The only problem we're having is he keeps falling asleep at his door. He will get so excited to lay down, but sometime after we leave he gets up and lays down with his blankie at the door. We are having to carry him to bed every night. It has only been a couple of weeks though and he isn't freaking out anymore so I think he'll get there!

We decorated his room in Finding Nemo stuff. He has a major fish obsession right now. He has cute decals on his walls and a bright Nemo bedding set. I've been painting pictures for his room, too. It is turning out so fun and colorful. He loves it! We also got him his first pet. A fish. Shocker. He is a pretty blue betta named Sushi. Nolan walks by his tank over and over saying "Hiiii Sushiiii." It is the cutest thing ever.

Griff has had a very eventful couple of months! He's growing so fast. He is pulling up on everything he can get his chubby hand on and walking along furniture. He's only 9.5 months old! I'm not ready for this yet! He speed-crawls, too. It is fantastic.

Still no teeth, but it looks like he has one on the bottom that will poke through any day. Chris just noticed the bump on his gum last night while he was giving him a bath. Yay! I'm going to miss his cute, gummy mouth though. His lack of teeth doesn't stop him from eating. He loves food so much. He's getting a little chunky, actually. His weight jumped from the 5th percentile to the 25th between his 6 and 9 month appointments. For someone who started out not even on the charts, that's great! He sits in his high chair for breakfast, lunch, and dinner now. I'd tell you what his favorite foods are, but he honestly loves everything. He isn't a huge fan of cottage cheese, but he still eats it. Other than that, he's all over it. He screams when he can't get it in his mouth fast enough. The other night, my mom was babysitting and Nolan dumped out a bucket of popcorn. Griffin was ticked that he couldn't eat it. Ticked.

He still doesn't know how little he is. He talks and screams all the time. For as feisty as he is, he is 1000x more sweet. I just love him. All of his movements are so huge and powerful. He doesn't raise his arm, he RAISES his arm. You don't want to be in his path when his little arm gets swinging. It hurts.

We moved him to Nolan's old crib last night. I can't believe I kept him in our room for as long as I did. I really wanted to wait until the boys could share a room. I still don't think they're quite ready. I ended up moving the crib into the play room and getting Griff set up with a little cd player and night light. I plan on moving the crib back as soon as he adjusts and seeing how they do sleeping together. I just don't think I'd get any sleep if I did it now. He did great though! I feel bad because I think he was pretty uncomfortable in the Pack and Play he was in. Now he's in a cozy, big crib and loves it. He only woke up once and put himself right back to sleep. Yay!

They play together so cute right now. They just laugh and laugh. I think they're going to be great buddies. I'm one thankful mommy!

Sunday, April 6, 2014


Not that anyone reads this anymore, but I feel bad because I haven't kept up on updating since Griffin was born. I had such a detailed record of everything Nolan did as he was growing and learning. Griffin, not so much. Everyone told me that would happen though. He's healthy and happy so that's good, right?

He turned 8 months old a few days ago. Crazy. He's still super tiny. He's wearing 3-6 month clothes (although he doesn't look ridiculous in 6-9 month anymore). He is more stocky though and is in size 4 diapers which is so strange to me. Still not teeth! He is the most feisty little thing I've ever known. He is so determined to be big. He started full blown crawling a month ago. Right now, he will pull to standing by himself and try to walk while holding our hands. He yells the entire time, like "watch me!" It kills me. He also does this little spin thing on the floor when he's sitting where he will push up on one knee, use his hands to spin himself around in a full circle, and sit right back where he started out. It is like he's scared to death to miss anything.

He was spitting up so bad. We started giving him 4 ounce bottles again and feeding him more frequently which has helped a lot. I think his little tummy was getting too full. He's getting 3 solid meals a day now, too. He hates veggies, but loves anything with meat. If I mix the vegetables in with turkey or chicken, he will down it. He gags when I try to give him chicken noodle soup though which makes me laugh because Nolan absolutely hated it, too. That stuff must be sick.

He's still not sleeping through the night. I was so spoiled with his big brother. We still have him in our bedroom, but I'm seriously considering letting him start sleeping in the playroom or something. I'm exhausted. He gets up at least 3 times a night. I know he doesn't need to be eating, but he does. He screams like he's getting his arms chopped off. I'm not sure what to do in this department. But, yawn.

He has the most hilarious little personality. He loves to wrestle and get dirty and pick on us. He's such a boy. For every bit of extreme screaming or drama, he has twice as many sweet moments. He just feels everything to the max. He is so cuddly and will snuggle right up on my shoulder when he feels like being nice. When he's happy, he's sooo happy. When he's ticked, the people in the next county over know about it. He's strong-willed and determined and crazy and amazing. I love him so much.

Big brother is doing awesome. He's a little boy now. He's finally starting to talk (yay!) and it is so freaking adorable. Right now, he thinks everything is so "cool!" He also says milk, juice, dog, orange, noodle, hi, wow, yee-haw, bubble, banana (NANA!!!), cheese (for the food and for the camera), pizza, mom, daddy, blankie, outside, please, bath (all the tiiiiiime...), and I know there are more. He has a word book with everything you can think of and he will sit forever identifying pictures. It is good because he just took so long to really start trying, but now that he started he's picking up a few new words a day.

He's between size 2T and 3T right now and still in size 5 diapers. He eats with us, but doesn't really love food. Right now, his favorites are muffins and pizza. He isn't into sweets or candy which is nice. He still doesn't like meat and will only eat it in spaghetti. He thinks it is awesome (oh, he says that too) that Griffin gets baby food and will sneak a bite here and there. I don't mind because I always give him something with meat or vegetables so it is good for him and he thinks he's getting a treat.

They are starting to play together and it makes my heart feel like it is going to explode. They chase each other around and just laugh and laugh. Nolan will lay on the ground and Griffin will speed-crawl over to his face and tackle him until Nolan about dies of laughter. Nolan will hide from Griff and he will search and search for him, then crack up when he finds him. There are times when Nolan will just look at Griffin and get the sweetest smile on his face. They love each other so much and I hope it stays that way forever.

We moved into our new house last month and love it. It was so sad to leave the boys' first home and the place I became a wife and a mommy but now I don't even miss it. They are just so happy there. They have a huge playroom and a covered patio that they can play on. They couldn't even play outside at our other house. It has an open floor plan and is all one level so the kids have full access to the house and we don't have baby gates up. It is perfect.

That's all for now! I'd say I'll try to do better at updating, but yeah...that's not going to happen. I'm too busy enjoying my kids.

Sunday, February 2, 2014


I know I've written about this before, but I struggle with death. Not with what happens to the person who dies...that doesn't worry me. I am terrified of being left behind. I think about losing someone close to me way more often than I should. I wouldn't say it consumes my daily activities, but it definitely plays a huge roll in how I treat my loved ones. I don't go to bed angry. I'll wake my boys up to kiss them goodnight before even thinking about just letting them sleep. I forgive everyone.

I feel like my way of thinking has helped me treasure tiny moments with my boys that a lot of people would take for granted. I smell their hair. I study their fingers and toes. I take pictures of their eyelashes and their chubby baby hands and their pouty lips. I want to remember everything about them on this day even when I'm old and they are grown men with babies of their own. I'm thankful for this.

I realized this morning that even though I'm taking the time to absorb them right now, things are changing too quickly for me to be able to keep up. Nolan doesn't want to rock and have milk before bed anymore. I can't remember the last time I sat in his chair in his room with him, singing him our song and snuggling him while he drank his milk. I don't mean that in a general "it has been forever!" way. I mean that literally. I want to remember the last time. I obviously didn't know on that night that I would never snuggle up with him in the crook of my left arm with just the dim light from the hallway in the room again. I'd never pull my hair over my shoulder so he could run his fingers through it as I found our song on YouTube to sing along with over and over again. I'd never hear his breathing change and see his sippy cup fall from his mouth as he fell asleep again. I'd never lift his too-heavy sleeping body from my arms to his crib and cover him with his favorite blue blankie again. Overnight, one night, he became too big for that.

The rocking chair isn't even in his bedroom anymore. He quit wanting to be rocked at night and now there is an awesome play tent in the chair's place. A big boy tent. He goes in there with his books and his animals and has adventures. He loves it. It makes me sad. But I keep watching him in that tent, and will continue to. Every night when he drags his toys in to play in his own special world, I will make a mental note of every giggle and every time he peeks out the side window to smile at me. I don't want the day to come when I look back and think "I don't remember the last time he wanted to have adventures in his tent." He won't know it is the last time, and chances are I won't either until later on. But I want to be present enough every day that I can look back and remember.

Griffin still wants to be cuddled as he falls asleep. I give him a lavender massage and put him in his pajamas. Daddy and Nolan come in and give us each kisses goodnight. Then I sit with my legs crossed and he lays in my lap while he has his bottle. I fold my left arm in front of me and he snuggles his face against it the same way every night. He doesn't hold his own bottle yet. He still needs me to do it for him. When he falls asleep, I pick him up and lay him on my chest for a little while before putting him in his bed. We do the same thing every night. It is always just me and him. I am so present during those moments. I will be able to look back and remember the last time he wiggled closer to me so he was able to press his cheek against my arm as he drifted off.

Every day I wake up and they are still there. They're healthy and living and strong and incredible. But they're changing. They're growing. Every morning they are a little bit different than they were when I put them to bed the night before. The baby I brought home almost two years ago is a little boy and the baby I brought home six months ago will be a year old before I know it. Every tomorrow is a gift and one I would never wish away so I could stay in today, but I'm soaking in every. single. second. while I'm here.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

New Year.

Well hello there, 2014! Where did you come from?

I suck at blogging. End of story. But I'm going to update anyways because now is better than tomorrow or next month or next year. We all know how quickly next year will be here.

Let me start with my amazing Nolan. He will be two in just under six weeks! I am absolutely loving the age he is at right now. He is the most incredible, sweet, and loving little boy. He is still a little bit unsure of Griffin as a person, but I think he's starting to like being a big brother. Well, maybe "like" isn't the right word. He's starting to fall into his roll? I don't know. He is a very dutiful brother. He takes on a lot of responsibility that he obviously doesn't have to as a toddler, but he doesn't seem to understand that. Like a couple of weeks ago when I had Griffin in his jumper, he started to cry. Instead of Nolan ignoring him or looking to me to see what I was going to do to fix his brother's problem, he stood up, huffed over to the drawer in the kitchen, pulled out a binkie, shoved it in G's mouth, and went back to playing. A few mornings ago, I was upstairs getting dressed to take the boys out for the day. I'd left Griffin on the floor and Nolan was playing next to him. All of a sudden, G started crying. I ran downstairs thinking Nolan had smacked him, but they were both on their tummies facing each other and Nolan was shaking G's favorite rattle in front of his face to try to cheer him up. It is amazing to see how observant he is and how easily he can recall what his mom and dad do in certain situations to make things better.

Having Nolan around for the Christmas season was magical this year. He loved all of it. We didn't do anything to protect our tree aside from putting all of our special ornaments out of his reach so he could really enjoy it. By the time I took it down yesterday, all of the ornaments were on the top half of the tree thanks to little toddler hands and their redecorating. His favorite thing to do this year was kiss the ornaments. He'd go up to touch one of them and we'd tell him to be soft, so he'd kiss them and say "awwwww" instead. Most. Adorable. Thing. Ever.

He kind of kisses everything right now. Toys, dogs, the floor...he is a little kisser. Every night, I bring Griffin to our bedroom to get him ready to go to sleep and Chris brings Nolan up a few minutes later. They come in to say goodnight to us and Nolan kisses me, then kisses his brother on the forehead followed by his "awwww." I look forward to it every single day and will be so sad when he decides he's too cool to kiss me and his baby brother goodnight.

I'm not sure how much he weighs right now, but he's pretty solidly in 2T clothing and size 5 diapers. His growth seems to have slowed quite a bit which is nice. He looks like a little boy now. We grew his hair out for winter and he could not be any more handsome. He's mastering the art of drinking out of an open cup and doesn't need our help to eat anymore. His favorites are pizza, spaghetti, and macaroni and cheese. Yum!

Now for the littles. What a sass. He just turned five months old a few days ago and I seriously can't believe where the time is going! He's a tiny little guy. I took him into the doctor last week and he's only 13 pounds. His 3-6 month clothes are still a little bit big on him. He's in size 2 diapers and will be for a while still. He takes about 4 ounces of formula every couple of hours and started on solids last month. So far, he's had rice cereal, oatmeal, prunes, pears, and sweet potatoes. He is such a good little eater like his brother!

One thing I can't believe is how strong he is! He can almost pull himself up into a sitting position from laying flat just by using his stomach. He rolls all the way across the floor and it is impossible to keep him in one place. He can push all the way up on his arms while laying on his tummy and loves to look around. I helped him sit up the other day and aside from a little bit of balance issues, he is strong enough to sit with very little support. He can also hold himself up on his legs like it is nothing at all and I have a feeling he will be walking way before I'm ready for it.

He is a mommy's boy. Big time. He screams and yells and waves his arms until I'm holding him, then he snuggles into my chest and just stares at the person who was holding him before me like he's mad at them. He's started to reach out to me when I go to pick him up, but I haven't noticed him do it with anyone else. I can't say I hate having him be so attached to me. It feels good to be wanted and needed after my independent Nolan.

His eyes are turning green and he seems to have darker hair. He looks so much like his daddy. His eyebrows are the same exact shape and they're turning brown. He looks a lot like Nolan still, but he's definitely turning into his own little person.

Life is busy and crazy and amazing. Those boys have changed me in ways I didn't know I could change and I'm loving every second of it. Being a mommy of two under two is so hard but it is so worth it! I love my crazies!