*It's a b%#ch-fest. You've been warned.*
I am trying so hard to stay optimistic. To stay positive. To set an example. I know I have people reading this that are looking for guidance and proof that life does go on. Things get better. I get that. The truth is, I honestly believe with everything in me that what I stand for is reality. Life sucks, then it gets better, then it sucks again. The last year and a half, my family's life has sucked a lot. We have had more handed to us than a lot of people realize and honestly I don't know how we survived it. Losing my baby was just the tip of an ugly, monstrous iceberg.
I remember thinking when I was younger about how destroyed I was going to be when this time came. I never wanted to say goodbye to my dog. But then I would reassure myself that I would be "old" by the time Star died. I would be at least 25! It would be so much easier because I would be older and more mature. Well, here I am, 6 days away from my 25th birthday. My family has been through hell already. I just lost my baby (and that isn't even the hell I'm talking about.) I guess this isn't the "perfect time" I imagined it being when I was 13.