Confession: I was scared to death to write my last post. Part of me wanted to hide out in my house and pretend I was too tired to spend time with people because I work overnight. I figured if I absolutely had to leave home, I could probably get away with really baggy shirts for a while. I knew people wouldn't dare question my belly, knowing what happened to me in March. I wanted to spare my loved ones from any possible pain my body might cause them. Somehow I had twisted it in my mind to where I felt like telling=losing. I didn't want to look like a failure and I really did not want to hurt people more than I already have.
But then I saw that face...that teeny little human who is 100 percent dependant on me and knows nothing other than to trust my body to nurture him. My body is his home. The same body that I was so angry at for failing me and Eden...it has turned around to create a new and beautiful child and has provided him with a secure bed inside of my belly. My baby is just chilling in there without a care in the world. He is pure and relaxed and letting God do His thing. I decided to take a lesson from my little one...take a deep breath, chill out, and let God do what He is going to do. I need to trust in Him like my baby is trusting in me.
For me, fully trusting meant fully acknowledging all that is happening in my life. It was time to come out of the pregnancy closet. I have been hiding for months now (which has not been easy, this belly is out of control.) I'm so happy I announced it, I feel absolutely surrounded by love and prayer. Now I'll have tons to blog about. Yay!