So In Love.

My baby boy will be seven weeks old on Tuesday. He is growing more and more handsome every day. I can't help but to sit and stare at this amazing person that my body created. He is truly a work of art.

His personality is emerging and it is feisty! He will cuddle with us for about 30 seconds a day and the rest of the time he is Mr. Independent. His absolute favorite thing to do right now is stretch out on a blanket on the floor and listen to music. He opens his mouth, makes cooing noises, and franticly kicks his legs and moves his arms. He will move his head from side to side and it really looks like he is dancing. Chris played the guitar for him for the first time a couple of weeks ago and I'm so happy I recorded it. He loved it! It was such a sweet moment between the two of them.

He is finally fitting in 0-3 month clothes and is growing so fast! He is now eating between four and five ounces in a feeding when just a couple of weeks ago he was only eating two. He's stopped vomiting and hardly ever spits up. He is so cute after he eats-he sticks his tummy out and holds it with his hands while he sleeps.

We are getting the hang of things! We go to bed around midnight after he eats and he wakes up at 4:00 and 7:00 for short feedings. We'll all go back to sleep until around 10:00 when we get up for the day. He is very predictable at night which I appreciate. Last night I put him in his bed when he was still wide awake and he put himself to sleep within five minutes. He knows that nighttime is for sleeping and daytime is for playing and we do lots of both!

I feel like I love him more and more every second. I am torn between not wanting today to end and not being able to wait for tomorrow because I know it will bring something amazing. Yesterday I did not even want to go take a shower because he was so close to his first smile. Every moment is so precious and I'm not taking one of them for granted. I'm blessed.

 

One Month.

We brought our baby boy home one month ago tonight. I know everyone says this, but where has the time gone?

I feel like we're getting the hang of things. Nolan is slowly falling into a routine. He was only getting up once a night to eat so we were getting quite a bit of sleep, but that stopped a couple of weeks ago. He started getting really sick and projectile vomiting after every feeding. It made for very long nights and a very hungry baby. After a few days of not being able to keep anything in his tummy and a few nights of about 20 minutes of sleep, I decided to make him an appointment.

The doctor checked him out and couldn't find anything wrong with him. He was still gaining weight as he should be (as of his last appointment, he is up to 7 pounds & 12 ounces) and did not seem dehydrated. They took his blood to check his electrolytes and everything came back great. We came to the conclusion that he was just eating too much for his little tummy to handle and I was told to feed him one ounce an hour all day long instead of three to four ounces every four hours like he was doing before. He has only thrown up one time since then and that was because I thought maybe his tummy grew and I gave him two ounces at a time instead of one. I won't make that mistake again.

Other than that, things have been amazing. I don't go back to work until May 2nd and Chris isn't currently working so we have just been enjoying our new life. Chris spends a lot of one-on-one time with Nolan. They spend quite a bit of time playing with developmental toys, watching stimulation videos, and listening to music. Nolan absolutely adores Chris and noticeably lights up when he hears his voice or sees his face. It melts my heart every single time.

Every time someone meets Nolan for the first time, they tell me how tiny he is. He doesn't feel tiny to me anymore. I look at him and can't believe that is the same tiny, fragile baby we brought home just over four weeks ago. He is growing so fast and developing new skills every day.

He has really taken a liking to Paisley. We will lay him on the bed next to her and he will try to hard to roll and turn towards her. He reaches out his hands towards her face and pets her cheeks and ears. She is so patient with him and will just lay her head on his tummy and let him play with her. Paisley turned three years old today and I'm so thankful she is still young so they can grow up together and be best friends.

We are still waiting on his first social smile but it should happen any day. He is so close. He is very interactive and holds great eye contact when Chris or I talk to him. He has started to "coo" and has the sweetest little voice. He doesn't do it very often, but I know that will come with time. I need to be patient and stop wishing for him to grow and develop because it is already happening too fast and I miss my five pound baby.

I took a few pictures yesterday morning and will continue to do so on the 14th of every month until he is a year old. I'll leave you with some of my favorites...

Happy One Month, sweet baby boy. I love you more than you'll ever know. You have changed my world and my heart forever...you made me a mommy.

Two Weeks.

Nolan loves:

• Baths. He's only had three so far (two at home) but he seems to really enjoy them! I think the warm water relaxes him. He gets a little bit fussy when I'm washing him with soap but as soon as I pour water over him, he calms down instantly. He looks adorable with his wet hair all slicked back.
• Eating. The boy can eat. He has a sort of love/hate relationship with food as we've been trying to figure out what is best for his sensitive tummy. He gets frustrated with nursing very quickly so I will feed him as much as he'll eat, then I'll pump and give him the rest in a bottle. We've had to supplement with formula a couple of times a day because he literally eats every drop of milk my body makes and still wants more.
• Infant Stimulation Videos. The last couple of nights, we've pulled up some black and white stimulation videos online (large shapes that move around the screen to music) and Nolan will sit and watch the entire thing! He flails his arms and coos and seems to pay really close attention to them. I wish I knew what was going on in that little brain of his!
• Mommy & Daddy. There is nothing quite like the feeling I get when he is crying and the second I touch him, he calms down. Chris and I each spend a lot of one-on-one time with Nolan daily to build his trust in us and bond with him. He responds to our voices from the other side of the room by opening his eyes wide and trying to turn his head towards us. 
• Sitting. He prefers sitting up to laying down and cuddling. He is very observant and loves to be able to look around and make eye contact with the person holding him. 

Nolan doesn't like:

• Bedtime. We have been up until one or two every morning since we brought him home. He is so alert at night and just wants to play and interact with us. I know we'll regret this when our babymoon is over and we go back to work, but right now I don't want to miss those little moments with him so we don't push the issue.
• Tummy Time. He doesn't mind it as much when I lay down and put him on his tummy on my chest. It seems to work just as well and he stretches his little neck muscles. We might do a couple of more days like this before we try it on the floor again...that was rough and he just kept smacking his cute face on the blanket.
• Getting his pictures taken. We got his newborn pictures done on  February 21 (so he was exactly one week old) and while they turned out amazing, he was not so much a fan. When we take his picture at home, he flails his arms and turns away. He's a little bit camera-shy.

I am loving every second of being Nolan's mommy. He is the most incredible thing to ever happen to me (besides his daddy.) We are all so tired and it is so much work, but it is the most incredible work I've ever done. 

Nolan at one week old. The ring on my finger is Eden's birthstone ring that I've worn every day since before we found out we lost her.

Blessed.

Chris and I have the most incredible friends and family ever. We brought Nolan home on the evening of the 15th and since then, we have not had to make a single meal for ourselves. My mom made us freezer meals (chicken soup, lasagna, cheesy chicken and rice, and enchiladas.) Our friends Cody and Cindy organized a hot meal drop off for the first week we were home. We had dinner delivered by a different friend each night for a week. It was so fun to be able to see people and amazing to not have to worry about what was for dinner that night. Chris' family took care of breakfast two mornings (bagels one morning and homemade waffles the second.) After the first week, we had one day that dinner was not covered so my dad and Peggy got us a pizza. After that, our church family took over and we've had hot meals delivered every night this week as well.

I feel so overcome with joy and gratitude. I can't believe how loved we are or how giving people can be. The time and energy people have put into putting these meals together is so much more than we could have ever expected from anyone. I had no idea how much work it was going to be to have a newborn and I honestly believe if we hadn't been blessed in the way we have, we wouldn't have really been eating at all. Food has been the last thing on my mind but there is no better reminder that we need nourishment than a delicious meal brought to our door by someone we love.

Our first couple of weeks home have been long but we're getting the hang of things. Part of me can't believe it is already March and my baby will be a month old before we know it...the other part can't remember life without him. He brings me so much happiness. I look at him and feel like my heart is going to explode. I have never been so tired in my entire life, but I wouldn't change it for the world. He is growing so fast and becoming his own person right before our eyes. I love watching his personality emerge and seeing him develop. He makes me laugh every single day and I still can't believe this is my life.