Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Deeper Level Of Love.

Today is Mother's Day. It is filled with so many more emotions than I expected. Last year, this day tore my heart out. I was a mother with no baby to hold. I remember driving home from work at 7:00 that morning, watching the sun rise over the mountains, and wishing time would stop. I didn't want the day to continue. I wanted to curl up in a ball and pretend like Mother's Day didn't exist. But it did...and I survived.

This year, I get to drive home from work and give my son a kiss before I crawl in bed. I get to smell his hair and hear his cry when he wakes me up 15 minutes into my slumber for his middle of the night meal. I get to soak in his smile when he realizes I'm home and that I can't wait to pick him up to cuddle. I get to enjoy that private moment that we share every morning around 3:15 as his daddy sleeps next to us, oblivious. I get to kiss his forehead a hundred times over as he stares into my eyes over his bottle. Thankful doesn't even begin to describe it.

I wish I could say my heart was full and healed this Mother's Day, but it is not. It is still broken. It is broken for a woman and her husband that I've never even met. They are in the middle of a hell that I can't imagine. I have followed this woman's blog for a while and I can't stop thinking about her or her sweet babes in heaven. I want to hug her and let her cry and listen to her talk about her babies for as long as she needs to, but I can't. However, there is something I can do to help.

I would like to encourage you to read her story in her own words (warning: it contains extremely heartbreaking material and pictures), but I will share this taken from her fundraising website:

Help the Rasmussen family continue their dream of having a family.

No parent should have to bury their child. Yet on April 24, 2012 Dereck and Becky Rasmussen lost their second baby in less than two years. This fundraiser has been set up to help them continue their dream of building a bigger family.

Dereck and Becky tried to get pregnant for over two years before seeing a positive pregnancy test in July 2010. Liam Maximilian Rasmussen lived to be 26 gestational weeks old. He underwent a very safe fetal surgery on January 3, 2011 in an attempt to repair a neural tube defect and lost his life due to cardiac arrest after the surgery.

The fetal surgery and C-section left Becky at a slightly higher risk for pregnancy complications in the future, but doctors were confident that, if properly monitored, she could still have a healthy baby. Evelynn Augusta Rasmussen developed without complication. Her scheduled C--section date was April 27, 2012. On April 22, Becky's uterus ruptured, putting both Evelynn and herself at risk. Despite quick acting doctors and a well staffed NICU, trauma from the uterine rupture left Evelynn without brain activity and she was taken off life support at just two days old.

The uterine rupture has left Becky and Dereck with very few options to grow their family, and medical expenses are already overwhelming. They're exploring options for surrogacy and adoption at this time, but both options will require more money.

Friends, family, and many who don't even know the Rasmussen's have asked what they can do for the family, as they grieve Evelynn's loss. Why not give financially to their dream of building a family, through adoption or surrogacy, in the future? This fund will go toward medical expenses to help them have the baby they've been trying for.

If anyone deserves to bring a baby home, it is Becky. How much more beautiful of a Mother's Day gift can one give? I wanted to pass on this opportunity to my friends and family. It isn't often that something like this comes along. How incredible would it be for her to come home tonight from choosing flowers for her little girl's burial and see a massive surge in funds bringing her that much closer to having a child to bring home? Please, help me. Pass this on. Share my link, share her link, share this story. Make this a Mother's Day she will be able to look back on and smile through her tears.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the beautiful mothers in this world.

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