I feel like I need to clarify something. This blog has nothing to do with getting attention for myself. I realize that miscarriages are extremely common and in no way do I think I'm "special" for going through this. I have 2 intentions in writing what I do:
First, I need to get these feelings out for myself. I have always been one to bottle up my emotions and pretend like I'm okay when I'm really not. I'm a really good faker. I don't want to be a burden to people and I really don't want people feeling sorry for me. I would rather pray to God and be held by my husband and let the rest of the world think I'm just fine. However, this is not healthy and if I don't get some of this out in the open I think I might explode.
Second, I need other women to know that what they are feeling is okay. The anger, the hurt, the fear, the sadness...it is all okay. Miscarriages are common and I think a lot of times that means they are downplayed, especially to the women who are experiencing them and the men along side them. Unless you have gone through it, there is no way you can understand the physical and emotional anguish that follows no matter how far along the pregnancy was. A lot of women and men go through their loss without the support and love that my husband and I have been so fortunate to have, and I can't imagine how lonely that must feel. If you are reading this and that sounds familiar, I need you to know you are so loved and you are not alone.