Chaos.

I obviously haven't written in a long time. Not that I think I have tons of readers waiting on the edge of their seat for my next post, but it is nice for me to be able to go back and read what I've written. I feel like I've neglected documenting 98.9% of my pregnancy and here I am, 56 days away from Nolan's due date, and don't have much of anything in this blog to show for it. I still have a couple of posts sitting in my draft box that I promise will be up eventually (again, like you all are waiting on the edge of your seats...)

Anyways, did I just say 56 days?!

Oh. My. Gosh.

Would anyone care to explain where the last 32 weeks have gone? December will be over before I know it. I figured out last night as I was writing out our middle of the month bills that I will only do that one more time before Nolan is here. I'm freaking out. It seems like every spare second of my days off are mapped out and packed full of projects around the house and things I need to get done before he is born and I'm still not anywhere near where I need to be. I'm feeling the crunch in a very bad way.

What have I accomplished? Maybe I'll feel better if I type it out...

• We bought his crib (although it is still in a box in our living room.)
• Downstairs is under control (but nowhere near as clean and sanitary as I'd like.)
• Our upstairs bathroom is decent (again, nowhere near where I'd like it to be.)
• My FMLA and disability paperwork is filled out and ready to be dropped off at my doctor's office for my midwife to complete her part (whenever I remember to do that.)
• We have his stroller, car seat, and swing ready to go (we just need want to get another base for our second car.)
• His coming home outfit is ready and sitting on his car seat.
• We have one coat of paint on his dresser...movin' right along with that project...
• I bought the lanterns for his nursery (but they're still in their wrappers.)
• He has a few blankets, a bath towel, some small toys, and a few outfits thanks to excited grandparents.
• My registry is almost complete. Hey, it is close enough...it is going on this list.

Is that really all I have done? Okay...that made me feel a little worse. I've been working so hard. Where has all of my hard work gone?

Now for what I still have to get done. This is going to be scary...

• Chris and I need to get our TDAP vaccines, like, yesterday. I also need to talk with all of the grandparents and aunts and uncles who will be around Nolan and let them know it is recommended that they get it as well.
• I need to get in contact with my short term disability company to make sure I have all of that in order and figure out exactly how much our check will be when he is born.
• I still have so much cleaning and organizing to do. Obviously I have to set up his nursery, but I have a whole load of furniture that needs to be cleared out of my house before that can even start to happen.
• I haven't even looked at diaper bags.
• I can't decide on a mattress for his crib.
• What? I need bedding to go in his crib too? Another decision I'm struggling with.
• Maybe I should start with actually putting his crib together...or taking it out of the box...
• I think my insurance covers pumps but I haven't called them to check on what brand or anything else for that matter.
• I haven't even started Christmas shopping.
• Christmas cards. Not this year. I just can't. We didn't decorate either.
• I mentioned to Chris that I wanted to schedule a tour of the hospital I'll be delivering in. This may or may not get crossed of the list soon as well.
• We have a few pediatricians that we want to interview. When? Who knows. Then we actually have to pick one.
• I just looked up a list of things to pack for the hospital...Heaven help me.
• I haven't bought a new bra in over a year. The thought of even looking at nursing bras makes me want to vomit but I know I need to...eventually.
• I need to finish Nolan's dresser and mirror that I'm refinishing for his room.
• Lots and lots of baby (and mommy and daddy) laundry.
• I need to get my FMLA paperwork to Kathy so she can get it done and I can get it turned in and crossed off this list.
• We need to figure out what in the world is going on with Chris' job and his FMLA (like how he can even get his hands on the paperwork he needs?!)
• I need to get the side panel on my car fixed so it isn't ripped up more and more each time we put a car seat in the backseat. My whole car needs to be cleaned really well when that is done.
• I need to call my landlord and let him know that we will have another person living in our house in 8 weeks.
• Somewhere in the middle of all of that I'm supposed to eat healthy and balanced meals, pamper myself, enjoy these last couple of months of "freedom" with Chris, exercise, prop my legs up, and get lots and lots of rest (can you hear the sarcasm?) Right.

I'm sure I could come up with more but I'm getting seriously depressed. Maybe anxious is a better word...stressed out...I don't know. I know that Nolan will be beyond worth it and when he is in my arms, none of those things will matter at that moment. But they do matter now and they will when he gets home. These are things I need to have done so he can be born into a comfortable and stable environment and they will be done before he is born if it kills me. I just need about 80 more hours in a week.

So...long story short...sorry I haven't been blogging much.